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Wednesday
Oct312007

MOBILE PHONE HELL!

Surely most sane rational people would admit that being forced to listen to someone else's obnoxious phone conversation at close proximity - is one of THE most irritating things on this planet!? Add to that - those amongst the commuting public who think that having some God awful grime tune blaring out of a tinny 2mm wide speaker on their mobile phone..... somehow makes people think 'wow I embrace that persons musical taste, and street credentials, they clearly aren't to be messed with and i must respect them.' And lets face it you've never heard Lethal Bizzle until you have experienced him sounding like he is plundering his brand of grimey garage hip-hop inside an empty baked beans can. We all get annoyed at these perpetrators of noise and yet few people approach those responsible ...... as of course our irritation is outweighed by our never failing British sense of self preservation. The moment we consider action, we relive that ITN news bulletin or newspaper column that described someone getting stabbed for daring to tell some arsehole that their mobile phone music was making the commuting experience even less bearable than usual. Anyway I'm straying wildly from the point, which was?..........erm oh yes.....there are only three places on Earth where the curse of the mobile phone is forbidden (not just frowned upon at a safe non interfering distance). 1) Hospitals: After all if the superbugs and general mismanagement doesn't kill you then the last thing you want to contend with is Tina in the bed next door telling 'er Trevor' that her bum is like a fiftypence piece after her recent procedure. 2) The Underground: Overcrowding, overheating and generally selfish behaviour all round are thankfully experienced most of the time fairly quietly as commuters would usually rather just shove a bag, newspaper, or their general frame into your face/body....rather than look or speak to you. 3) Flying: Thankfully, randomly interrupted sleep, crap meals and annoying neighbours is at least made easier by the lack of some motormouth next to you describing the contents of his/her beef casserole meal for one. YET IT LOOKS LIKE THIS IS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE......AND SOON MAYBE!!! Yes that's right - some administrative chicken violating flap of anal skin has decided that all three of the above PLACES should allow mobile phone use at all times! I say in the singular but I fear it is any number of gits making this possible. So in more detail that means - Phone-masts on the underground: Why God why? Surely this will increase commuter rage two fold! The Northern Line is bad enough without having to endure someone shouting into the mouthpiece of their phone what she/he and her man/his man/her woman/her man had got up to on their recent date! Mobiles allowed in Hospitals: Ok so we knew full well that mobile phones don't interfere with medical equipment, that's like saying fairies die when you clap your hands. But no-one wants to endure the NHS in the kind of environment where the neighbour you can't escape, will be telling their friends and family what having their haemoroids lanced feels like 24/7. Phones allowed to be used during flights?: Apparently some of the airlines are installing masts to make this possible! So in the discomfort of your budget flight, you can also revel in other peoples conversation as you stab into your half frozen potato crostini. SURELY we once survived without mobile phones? It wasn't that long ago afterall, no-one died as a result of not being able to text someone, people still got to places in one piece and STILL spoke to people they knew on a regular basis, people thrived without knowing what LOL and LMAO meant....and another thing........oh hang on i've just had an email i must respond to on my Blackberry be right back.... pig.jpg

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