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Speakers Corner: The LF Forum > I got jokes...

Two tigers are walking through Oxford Street on a Saturday afternoon... One tiger turns to the other and says "It's a bit quiet".

July 16, 2010 | Registered CommenterI M S

I went out for dinner with my new girlfriend last night. At the end, we agreed to go Dutch on the bill. I raked my studs down her chest, bullied the waiter, then ran out crying.

July 16, 2010 | Registered CommenterDenis-Jose Francois

"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."

July 16, 2010 | Registered CommenterI M S

that was rubbish. gerroff

July 16, 2010 | Registered CommenterDenis-Jose Francois

70 year old Bob went on a date with 70 year old Pat. Their date was going well and at the end of the night they started to get frisky. In the bedroom Pat was worried that her heart might give out so she blurted out to Bob, "Bob I have to tell you that I have accute angina".
Bob looked at Pat and with releif he said "Well thats good news as your tits are f**king awful".

July 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Student doctor ask's consultant "why don't we do smear tests on women over seventy?"Consultant answers
"have you ever tried to separate a cheese toastie?"

July 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterninjaposty

"the grim reaper came for me last night & i beat him off with a vacuum cleaner,f**king hell talk about dyson with death!!!"

July 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterninjaposty

encore! encore!

July 19, 2010 | Registered CommenterDenis-Jose Francois

Why are there 3 rings in marriage?

Engagement ring

Wedding ring, and

SUFFERING

July 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Man: doctor doctor my uncle keeps hiding in compost bins

Doctor: I'm sure he'll grow out of it

a man walks into a stable and horse says to him, why the short face?

What's worse than fifty dead babies in fifty bin bags?

One baby in fifty bin bags?

In the cemetry i saw 4 men carrying a coffin round and round,3 hours later i saw the same men with the same coffin.....I thought they've lost the f**cking plot.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterninjaposty

Just bought a dog off a blacksmith.
As soon as i got him home,he made a bolt for the door

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterninjaposty